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May 30, 2017 You scream, I scream, we all scream for marriage equality

Recently, a close friend of mine was married. She, a woman, married her partner of five years, a man.

Sat in the front row were her two best friends, both women, who have been together for over a decade, and engaged for the last four.

When the celebrant was forced, by law, to recite the Monitum (“Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life”), she turned her microphone off and turned away from the crowd while we all raised our voices to drown out the ugly.

For a few seconds, everything felt good, and right, and equal. But then the ceremony ended, and the newlyweds went home, their love now recognised by the law, while her two best friends—together twice as long as the newlyweds—went home as second class citizens.

The fact that we are still debating whether or not this is ‘right’ is of course disgusting, and maddening, and frankly just really, really boring. Honestly, those two friends I’m talking about don’t want to talk about their plans to get married any more than you want to hear about it—they just want to do it.

However we have people choosing to believe in a book written thousands of years ago rather than in human decency. For the last time, wieners, it’s none of your business.

I’ve had enough of it, and you know who else has?

Ben & Jerry’s

Not only does the chain make exceptionally delicious ice cream, they also believe in marriage equality. So much so, that they’ve partnered with The Equality Campaign (formerly Australian Marriage Equality) and imposed a ban on all same-flavour scoopiages.

That’s right, from now until marriage equality is achieved in Australia, you aren’t allowed to order two scoops of the same flavour on a cone, or in a cup, at any of their 26 Australian outlets. Because if two humans of the same kind can’t live together in holy matrimony, why should ice cream get the chance?

And they haven’t even stopped there.

To further show their support, Ben and Jerry’s have also set up an in-store postal service from now until June 9, where you can write a message in support of marriage equality to your local MP. Your message will then be hand-delivered by the Ben & Jerry’s team.

How do you like them scoops, Margaret Court?

Erin Bromhead
is a contributor for A•STAR