It may also make your thumb hurt from leaning on the accelerator button.
Look, I’m going to be honest with you all here, because I think it’s important that there’s a level of trust between us: I bought Mario Kart 8 Deluxe for the Nintendo Switch fairly early on Friday morning, and spent almost the whole weekend playing it.
Yes, I had work to do. Yes, I promised to take the recycling out. But aside from a short trip outside to watch St Kilda thrash Hawthorn on my local pub’s Foxtel, I took a cartoon version of myself around and around a variety of tracks. Some were rainbow-themed, some were callbacks to ancient Nintendo games like Excitebike, some made me so so so so so angry with their bullshit.
This is seriously just a photo of my TV, where Mii-Shane on a hipster scooter has missed collecting a coin but doesn’t seem too fazed about it, really:
(A friend of mine had a party at his place on Friday night. I brought the game with me… and two steering wheel controllers. Barely spoke to anyone unless it was about how I had just ruined their race with a red turtle shell and could they get me another slice of pizza? Ta.)
Lots of these tracks come from older versions of the game, but I’ve never been this deep into the series before. Much like the new Zelda, this way-too-adorable racing title has grabbed me in a way that no “realistic” car game has in a long time.
When you can compete against friends, strangers online and a ghostly version of yourself – who is so smug, the way he takes those corners – there’s no reason to stop playing until your eyes are like balloons that have been burst by Bob-ombs.
Now it’s late Sunday night and I’m catching up on everything I planned to do over the past 48 hours, as well as thinking about how I can beat my best time on Ice Ice Outpost.
With two games, they’ve made me more addicted to Nintendo than I was as a kid. So consider this a warning. Don’t get Mario Kart 8 if you’re doing anything that involves a deadline. It’s way too easy to get locked into… one… more… race…